Chemo Sesh #1: lolcancer

chemo 1
lolcancer… is that all you got?

Uh, what’s the big deal? I thought this shit was supposed to be the worst thing ever. I mean, it’s basically a consensual holocaust of all the living cells in my body. I didn’t wake up bald, impotent or grey-skinned today… In fact, I woke up early, feeling like I won the lottery while getting laid last night!

Actually, I was told that the first round wouldn’t bother me. The only side effects I had were peach-colored urine (yes, this is a sexy cancer blog) and a metallic taste in my mouth. I took two IV drugs last night called Vinccristine and Daunorubicin. I don’t know what they do and I don’t care, because what difference does that make? I trust the super brilliant and talented staff here: They give, I take. They say, I do. My life philosophy was the exact opposite pre-leuke… And it has been liberating (have you picked up on my recurring theme yet?)

The oncology rockstars told me that I won’t be feeling chemo-shitty for the first two weeks, and that I might actually feel really good instead because of a magic little steroid called Prednisone. For every chemo drug that I take, I have to take like 36 other drugs to counteract the negative side effects. Steroids are a part of these, and let me tell you…’roids are pretty sweet. I’ve been running around the blood cancer unit trying to get the other patients to arm wrestle me and/or get into  full MMA battles while wearing our scrubs. No takers so far because cancer patients are wimps. FUCKING PUSSIES. UUUGGGHHH, I JUST WANNA PUNCH FACES.

:starts sobbing and grows ladyboobs:

No, it’s not like that… But I do honestly feel great right now. I’m very thankful for this current bout of energy and motivation that I am feeling, because I am positive that it isn’t going to last. I’ll be taking it one moment at a time, though.

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